Glyphosate and Dinosaurs

by Jerod McDaniel
Farming & Ranching Editor
Truth or Consequences, Oklahoma. (DYDD)

Glyphosate and dinosaurs

Time to shed some light on the bullshit that is the “ Glyphosate shortage”.  For those of you that don’t follow the ag chemical story-lines in today’s marketplace, which is basically everyone, let me fill you in on my thoughts.

Once upon a time (last time corn went batshit nuts to the upside) this little chemical used by EVERYONE called Glyphosate was thought to be in limited supply.  Everyone who uses this chemical got scared and there was a rush to secure supplies.  Makes sense, if something is running low, get yours before the next guy in case it runs out. Simple enough, good business practice. (If you don’t know what Glyphosate is, just google it, I’m not going to use name brands, because those fuckers would probably sue me… I’m going to pisssssss them off in a moment) Anyway, not enough supply because there was some tragic event that made it all go away… TURNS OUT IT WAS ALL BULLSHIT!!!!! I’m not making this up, check for yourself, most products nationwide were priced $60+/gal and in a few short months (after heavy buying season passed) HOLY SHIT, they found some more and the race was on to the downside, $10/gal. That about sums up what happened in short form.

Fast forward to 2013… Guess what? THERE IS ANOTHER SHORTAGE!!!!!

Bullshit.

Glyphosate is used on a metric shit ton of crop production acres.  It is used so much that virtually everything you eat probably has been touched by it.  It is manufactured by a boat load of companies worldwide, under many names.  I think you could list it as one of the single greatest ag chem achievements in the last century.  Billions of dollars are made in the manufacture and sale of said chem, yet even with that incentive, there is a shortage?  Think logically about this.  Why would all the companies who make this product simultaneously run out? The answer is they are not.  Here is what my take is on what’s happening.

Remember the first shortage? Well, that pissed every producer in the country right the fuck off.  I mean guys purchased a fuck-ton of this stuff because it was going away, only to find out there was plenty all along.  Why did the first “shortage” happen? Because the big guys wanted a piece of the high corn price pie.  Fair enough, people paid what they thought it was worth based upon the info told to them, trouble is, it was lies.  Kinda like running in the theater yelling “Another Johnny Depp movie is about to come on”, and everyone rushing and trampling for the exits. Now corn has been higher for a couple of years in a row now… why hasn’t everyone paid more for glyphosate this time?  Because they are still pissed as hell about last experience.  Well enough time has passed, and some guys are feeling like they have to give gouging one more shot.  Better to get in on the tail end of the big $ corn run than to not get in at all.  It starts simple, like there is a “rumor” floating that another big problem has emerged in production… The sellers smell blood in the water because some fish are biting that lure… word spreads and before you know it, the rumor mill is running at capacity and the whole bullshit rodeo gets going full steam.  It is now about to turn into a self-fulling prophecy. The shortage exists because there is a shortage existing.  Everyone in the retail business is thinking, screw selling cheap, there is talk of a shortage, I’m gonna get mines.  Good for them, but fuck them, I’m not going along with it.  (And you sholdn’t either, because it’s bullshit)

Glyphosate sucks as a stand alone chemical today anyways.  Every chem company rep has learned the dance of “Use multiple modes of action”.  This is a lie made up to protect their ass because they know resistance in weeds is real, so best way to cover it up is to make everyone use another pesticide along with glyphosate so that the weed dies from one or the other and everyone thinks the original chem is still awesome, allowing more future sales of the crappy voodoo water.

All bitching and no solutions from me is what most critics will say at this point. Here is my solution. Use any and every other chem on the market, you are going to anyway, because that is what the recommendations are going to be. Fuck putting glyphosate even in the spray tank.  They will probably thank you, because that will free up more of the chem to sell to other dipshits who buy the whole shit-story shortage. (And will pay a lot of $, because they are lemmings)

I’m calling bullshit on this, watch and see if this whole shortage doesn’t go the way of a dinosaur staring down an asteroid.

Fuck you ag chem companies,

Jerod

P.S. Spray rig operators, air induction nozzles suck ass, quit using them. Drift is bullshit too, If you cannot spray without them, go fucking flip burgers or fill tacos.

Publishers Note: This post was originally posted at Jerods blog, but no one knows it exists, so I stole this with permission.

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